Fullmetal Fun
by oORika-chanOo
Summary: The strange adventures of the FMA crew and me! Includes various members of my family and friends, pregnant and drunk people and freaked workers in later chapters. Rated for language. Plz review!
1. How to get yourself an Ed

If your here, than thanks for coming! I've had the stuff in this fic written for so long and my friend thought they were funny and convinced me to post them. So here they are! I hope you think They're as funny as I do. 3

Disclaimer: I really do own FMA because I work for Square Enix. Ha! Yea right. If I did, would I realy write about something I own?

* * *

Someone ate my 3 Muskteers Bar, but replaced it with Roy instead. Yay!

Roy: Says who?

Me: Ed.

And I pointed to him.

Roy: I'll kill you.

And he got into a snapping position cause, well, you know thats what Roy does.

Me: What's the matter? You don't like me?

Roy: Uhh..uhhh...Ed, help?

Ed: You're on you own, see ya!

Then he ran to the nearest exit.

Roy: Damn pipsqueak.

Ed poked his head through the door.

Ed: What did you say!

o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o O.O

Next day..

Me: It seems that Roy ran away...IknewIshouldhavewatchedhimcloser...Anyways..I found Ed on my doorstep! Yay!

Ed: What the hell!

Roy: -snickering-

I give Ed a big giant hug cause everybody likes a hug! Well, almost.

Ed: Get off me! Can I get some help here?

Roy: Sorry, gotta go, paperwork is waiting.

Ed: So?

Roy: Now doing paperworkGun to my head. Compliments of the Leiutanant. -leaves for fear of bullets-

Ed: Damn bastard..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Me: Yay! Its a new day and I still have Ed! Woohoo!

Ed: Woop de doo. -twirls finger for added sarcasm-

Me: Ed would also like to say hi and that he loves all of his fans.

Ed: And why would I wanna do that?

Me: Because of this.. -moves 3 Muskateers Bar in his face- Now say it!

Ed: No!

Me: Come on..you know you want it..

Ed: Ahh..dammit. Ok, Ok. Hi and I love you all.

Me: See! ed really does care! -starts eating candy-

Ed: What the hell! You said I could have that!

Me: Now really, I didn't say anything like that, did I?

Ed: -mumbles obsene words under breath- ...Hey wheres Al?

Me: I dunno.

-somewhere far away...-

Al: Brother? -looks around frantically- Brother! Where are you!

A/N: Review please! If you didn't like it, liked it or know something I can improve on! And you know 1st chappies aren't always the best, but i promise by the third it gets better. So now, review!


	2. Who's gonna be the father?

The reason I put t 3 chapters up at once is cause I probably won't be able to update until the weekend. Because I'm too lazyand don't have the attention span to type for long preiods of time. And because the third chappie gots lots 'o funny stuff in it so I'm sure that SOME people will like it and come back for more.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. But Envy's telling me to tell you that by the time you finish reading this, you could have saved 15 or more on car insurance by switching to Geico!

Oh, and for future reference, I don't own 3 Muskateers Bars either.I make a lot of references to them so just so you know! And if you haven't had one yet go eat one, their the best! Or at least I thnk so..

* * *

Me: Babies are cute.

Ed: Yea, so what's your point?

Me: Well, Riza says she wants one, so today we will be holding a drawing out of a hat!

Ed: A drawing for what?

Me: To see who will be the father, silly!

Ed, Roy, Havoc, Falman, Breda, Fuery, Al, Armstrong, and Hughes: WHAT! (A/N: Ed fixed the house for the day so Al could fit. Why he put it back after...I have no idea. Although you think I would, I mean this being my fic and all)

Me: Yes, that's right, you heard me. -Riza enters holding a hat filled with little strips of paper-

Now Riza will pick a name from this hat, but three of you cannot take part in our fun filled event today! And these people will be: Alphonse, Armstrong, and Hughes; So please kindly leave the room. OrRizasgunwillhelpyoufindyourway.

Roy: Why only them?

Me: Well, Al doesn't have a body, so you can see the problem there. -Everybody nods their heads and murmurs in agreement-

For Armstrong, sparkles are dangerous adn we don't need anymore around here, and PLUS we don't need another person saying "This whatever has been passed down through the Armstrong gerations and blah blah blah" kinda stuff.

Havoc: But if he was the father, then wouldn't that give him someone else to tell the stories to?

Me: True, true. But then that just leads me back to the sparkle argument. -More head nods and words of agreement-

And Hughes; 1. he's married; 2. he has a daughter; and 3. if he had another child, then just think of how many more pictures he would have to show...andmymomwouldkillmeifsheseesanymorepictures. -They all shake their heads to eachother again and in one swift motion, Armstrong and Hughes are pushed wiolently out of the room while Al is politely escorted out by Riza minus the gun-

Fuery: Ok, now what?

Riza: And now we...-dramatic voice-...pick the father...

-An audible gulp can be heard from everybody in the room except for me and Riza-

dum Dum DUM

Me: OK, Ready...

-Riza's hand slowly reaches hand over to hat-

Me: Steady...

-Riza's hand almost in hat's contents and everybody has almost peed in their pants in anticipation but not the good kind-

Me: Go!

-music by L'Arc-en-Ciel begins to play-

Me: Not now, Errol! (A/N: That would be my brother. And thats his real name.) We'll listen to it later!

Errol: Awwww... -Goes outside the room again-

Me: Oook! Just pick already, dammit!

-Riza puts hand in and moves it around a bit before taking her hand out with a piece of paper-

Me: -Takes paper and opens it- Hey, wait, this doesn't have anything on it. Did you put blank ones in here? -turns to Riza-

Riza: Ooops...

Ed: -Screams in frustration causing everybody to turn to him- OMFG! What a waste of time! -Reaches in and grabs a name out and looks at it-

hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-Riza and me walk up behind him-

Me: And the father is...Jean Havoc!

Havoc: AHHHHH!

-Riza makes her way over to Havoc and talks in a seductive woice as she comes closer and closer to his face-

Riza: So Jean, are you ready?

Havoc: Uhh...ummm...-hesitates-...Wait! I got it! I will give you $1500 to replace me with Roy! -Anime jaw-drop from Roy-

-Riza looks at me for approval and I nod my head so she turns back to Havoc-

Riza: Ok, pay up. -Holds out hand-

Havoc: Here, here take it all! -Reaches into back pocket to take out $1500 cash-

Roy: Wait! You can't just sell me to Riza!

Havoc: Seems like I just did.

Breda: Why do you have all that money?

Havoc: To buy cigarettes with, of course. But this is totally worth having no cigarettes.

-Riza goes to Roy and grabs his arm and pulls him towards the door-

Riza: Let's get started!

Roy: Help meeeeeee! -He screams while being pulled out the door-

Ed: HAHAHA! -Keeps on laughing hysterically-

Me: Awwww...They're so cute together! (Don't ya think?)

A/N: Did ya like? Let me know! Let me know if you gots any ideas too or wanna be included in this fic somehow 'cause I can do that you know, if you really want to be in it! If you review, I'll be your best friend forever!


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